I was in the car for half an hour with a new friend.
A nice guy, engineer, working on the sea as a sailor …
Indeed … a real interesting guy.
As usual i was exploring the human interconnections … and started to chat with him about lots of things related with the life itself.
I saw that he was a little bit intrigued by the fact that i was not drinking whiskey.
In fact i was not drinking alcohol at all …
I used to love drinking … but not anymore.
My new friend from the south of Ukraine … but his other friends also … could not understand why i refuse to drink with them whiskey.
Found it as a non sense.
In fact … as a total nonsense.
But i simple smiled.
I knew that alcohol was an …addiction.
A very … ugly one.
I asked my friend … “Why do you drink?!”
Seriously… he replied …. “Because of my problems. Helps me forget about them.”
“Hahaha. But you know … the problems will not disappear”.
“I know … but for a while I disconnect completely from them.”
I was in this illusion of alcohol … for years, but you see … i simple decided to stop doing it, realizing that i am not running away by the problems, but by … depression… which was that weird ugly feeling generated by my problems.
So … one day … seeing that the alcohol is only calming down the way i feel, but never heals the way i feel … i just decided to stop drinking.
I had to deal with what looked like … kind of a depression.
And … it was not so hard as it might look like.
I faced my negative thoughts.
I analyzed them and defined everything … in one million ways, realizing in the end that the depression itself is just an illusory state of being … that makes you believe that you’re a victim of the present moment and nothing can change.
My mind … was playing around with me.
I was laughing a little bit of my ukrainian friend that could not understand my decision of getting rid of alcohol.
I was facing into my eyes … what could be called as … my depression … and my friend was running away by it, by such a long, long time … same as i was doing for years.
My perception about this illusory concept called … depression … was totally redefined.
I found it more as a signal that was whispering me that i was not following the right path for my life.
I started to pay huge attention to it.
Each time when i felt a negative emotion … i just stopped from all what i was doing … and meditated.
Yes … meditate … meditate … meditate.
In the end … i was smiling seeing my perspectives so … changed.
I realized that the depression was … not a negative issue from my life.
The depression itself was actually … a friend that was trying to help, clarifying and whispering me on and on and on …. the things i need to redefine into my life.
So … instead of running away … i was facing the things that were …. annoying me so much … trying to solve those things.
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